


Wayfinders for a Runaway Star

by kei (knittenkitten)



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Burnout - Freeform, Gen, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, KH3 REmind spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:28:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28532196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knittenkitten/pseuds/kei
Summary: Kept up all night by his latest attempt to find Sora, Riku is unexpectedly visited by some kindred spirits who help him find his way.
Relationships: Riku & Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21
Collections: Kingdom Heals





	Wayfinders for a Runaway Star

**Author's Note:**

> This work was written for the Kingdom Heals zine! 
> 
> Make sure to check out the other fics and the artwork, which will show up on the Twitter account [@khealszine](https://twitter.com/khealszine/)~

It was well past midnight, it'd been a long, stressful day of yet more disappointment, and still, Riku woke up. Perhaps back on the islands, such an awakening would _always_ come with a start (and, perhaps, the occasional surprise of seeing Sora outside his window), but lately, it never did. All he felt was a dull, resigned ache.

"Resigned"—Riku was so accustomed to pain and unwanted rousings that even the "ah, this again" had become habitual. He was awake. Again. Everything hurt. Again. Just another Tuesday. It barely even registered as pain—physical, emotional, or otherwise—these days, even though it was all of the above. Riku just sighed and went to prepare himself a cup of green tea. He spent the time he waited for the water to boil sniffing his measure of leaves, hoping that somehow, this time, the earthy, calming scent would make him feel better.

It didn't.

Riku had stayed up late running Sora through the simulation again, forcing him to sleep in the lab's small guest bedroom for the third night in the row. It wasn't noticeably uncomfortable, but it made for little physical or mental separation from his work. Not that he wanted any. But he couldn't even get a break in his dreams—hours spent in front of Sora's likeness apparently wasn't enough to carry Sora with him. He envied Kairi, whose job was to do that which he couldn't even manage for his own comfort lately.

The burn of the vaguely heart-shaped mark on his back used to feel like the press of a hot, sizzling brand. It was an insult to injury during a particularly rough time, though, mercifully, he'd often dreamed of Sora through the worst of it. These days, it felt more like the annoying burn of a zit just before it emerged. There was only just enough ache to register it.

Had he gotten used to it? A sign of his complacency?

A sign Sora was fading away? A sign of his failures?

Riku had no way of knowing. Sometimes, he felt guilty for the days when he did _not_ feel the pain. Had he even done anything to earn a respite from his permanent physical reminder of Sora's absence? Wasn't he just taking advantage of the generosity of his friends—Sora's friends, really—as he sat spinning his wheels in a rut of pain?

At least Kairi was probably making some progress. As much as he was conflicted about her choice of actions, Riku was convinced that she had the stronger _two-way_ bond with Sora. Whatever she was doing would help the cause.

Everybody else was working hard, so it was only natural for Riku to expect himself to work _even harder_. Yen Sid had frowned at him for saying that once, but he knew of no other way to deal with the burden of his precious friend's absence. It was Riku's job to make sure every path to saving Sora was being explored, and he had nowhere to go that would make him forget that for one second, even if he actually wanted to take a break. Certainly not home. Certainly not to Twilight Town or the Mysterious Tower. Certainly not to the vast array of worlds that he'd wanted to visit with Sora _together_.

Might as well stay here and chase the only lead he had.

The tea now a pleasant yellow-green, Riku removed the infuser from the cup and placed it in the kitchen sink. With his first sip, he heard footsteps approaching from outside.

"Shh, Riku might be asleep!" the muffled timbre of a feminine voice sounded through the door.

"C'mon, it's practically dawn! I'm sure he's gone home by n-"

The door swung open, and Terra stopped both his feet and the running of his mouth in their respective tracks.

"Looks like you were both wrong," Ven said.

"Riku!!" Aqua ignored Ven, making a beeline for Riku. She peered into the mug, then exhaled so loudly that Riku could hear it, perhaps relieved that the contents were light green and not dark brown. He imagined Aqua didn't want to know that he'd given up coffee because of how often he had overindulged and given himself palpitations.

Riku couldn't help but be reminded of the times Sora's mother had checked their cups like that at their childhood sleepovers after the sun had set. He almost let himself smile at the memory, but also couldn't help moving on to immediately being relieved that it was _Sora_ who Aqua had asked to save _Riku_ if he were left wandering a dark path alone. He'd hate to have failed _two_ people who had trusted him to take care of Sora.

He could feel them staring at him, breaking Riku's ambling in his thoughts. "Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Terra asked.

Riku wasn't sure how to respond. Sleeping? He'd watched Sora do that for a year. Kairi was doing that right now. He tried to give himself at least what his body asked for.

But was that really what he _should_ be doing?

_No more borders around, below, or above, so long as you champion the ones you love._

Some champion he was.

"Earth to Riku?" Terra's head and eyes tracked Riku's hand as he lifted up his cup to take another sip, the exact kind of silly thing Sora would do.

"God, your eyes are so _red_. Are you OK?" Aqua placed her elbows on the table and rested her head in her hands, ready to listen to answers Riku still couldn't find.

Come to think of it, it was funny how he was left sleepless and red-eyed mostly on the nights when he _didn't_ dream of the man with one blue eye and one red eye. Not that those nights were particularly restful, either. It was cruel—not OK—to see Sora in his dreams and be unable to reach him, after all.

No, Riku wasn't "OK." Nothing was "OK." But their worry would only get in the way.

"Well, _I_ think you could use some sleep. You could ask the master of sleep for a second opinion, though," Terra said, placing a neatly tied pile of papers (perhaps their reports) on the table and gesturing back to Ven, who'd been hanging around by the entrance, maybe a bit unsure what to say.

Riku couldn't bring himself to disagree. He probably _would_ feel better if he wasn't so tired all the time. But instead of saying as much, he shrugged, took another big sip, and pulled out a change of subject. "I'm... fine. Find anything interesting while you were out?"

Finally, Ven approached the table. "You could always try reading these reports. I know I fall asleep helping Aqua write them, after all. Maybe they'll help!"

Aqua shook her head. "That's the last thing he needs right now, Ven."

Ven and Terra stepped back, but Aqua remained, and Riku felt as if she was staring straight into his soul. "Riku, have you been sleeping here? Or, well, trying to?"

Riku pressed his lips together.

"You have, haven't you?"

He sighed and buried his head in his arms.

"Then I think you could use a break."

Riku let his eyes peek above his arms, but he couldn't bring himself to say _"yes."_ Aqua was probably right, but, to be blunt, he didn't want her to be.

"Let's take that as a yes," Terra suggested, placing his hand on Riku's shoulder.

"Fine, I'll try to sleep." Riku dragged his head back under his arms.

"Nope! You're coming with us!" The hand on Riku's shoulder gripped and pulled up.

Riku groaned. "Why? There's a bed right over there. I'll just sleep here."

Aqua shook her head. "Riku, you're burned out. You've got to get away from this for a little bit."

"Burned out? I can't be burned out. I still want to find S-"

"That's what that means, though, Riku. If you keep going on like this, you might never be at your best again."

The image of Aqua with golden yellow eyes briefly flashed into Riku's head. Had that been the reason behind Aqua's fall to darkness? Had she worked herself so hard that all the light in her had burned right out? Not with an explosive bang, but with the whisper of a candle reaching the end of its wick?

Riku could hardly picture it, but he also failed to imagine any other way that could've happened to somebody like Aqua. Somebody who was a _lot_ like him. Somebody he could, perhaps, stand to listen to.

"Then... what do I do?"

Aqua smiled, then pulled Riku's empty teacup out from in front of him. "Rest. We've got the perfect place for you."

He briefly considered why _home_ wasn't the perfect place, but the answer was obvious.

"OK. I... think I'll do that, then. Thank you."

"What are we waiting for, then? C'mon, Riku!" Terra motioned to Riku, and then he and Ven raced back toward what had been Sora's gummi ship, and Aqua watched Riku as he stretched out of his seat and followed them, leaving them to their competitive devices.

Riku was surprised by how _good_ it felt to leave the building for the first time in several days—like a weight had been lifted off of his entire existence. The sun was rising, but the air was still chilled and damp. He welcomed the brief burst of energy brought by the natural light and the brisk chill hitting his skin and entering his lungs.

"You call that running?" Ven called, poking his head out of the door to the gummi ship.

He laughed and joined them.

They set off and quickly began chatting about their recent adventures—some of which hadn't been related to the search.

Riku had piloted the gummi ship a couple of times since Kairi had returned, and Mickey had driven him around a couple of times before that, but Riku had never had a whole crew like this. He remembered how lively Sora had seemed with his friends when he'd caught them on the gummi ship and realized that he'd never traveled with such a sizable group _period_. At least, not without Sora. Two was perhaps worse than alone at times, but three—or four—was a crowd, and, as much as Riku liked to avoid those, he was beginning to realize that, sometimes, a small crowd was just what he needed.

Terra was just the role model Riku had remembered, and tall to boot (it wasn't often anymore that he met somebody taller than he was), but he had a surprising silly side that Riku was learning to appreciate.

Aqua was a natural leader, and one with a more developed sense of how people were feeling than Riku had.

Ven—well, it was no wonder Ven had found a home inside of Sora for so long, but he lacked Sora's sass, which made him more comfortable to talk to as a new friend.

The three of them fit together like bread, peanut butter, and jelly, and they made Riku feel like he belonged in that sandwich as well.

Perhaps Riku could ask them if they wanted to work on the data-Sora project like this—chatting, laughing, enjoying some snacks, and taking turns at the wheel. But he held off, because Aqua was right—it was now time for him to take a break from that project.

Before Riku realized, and not too long after his first involuntary yawn, they'd landed at the Land of Departure. He was relieved to notice that the sun was setting over here.

The three escorted him into a room in the castle with a large bed.

"Isn't it nice? Eraqus used to use this room for visitors. Like when Master Xeh-"

Aqua shushed him, but not before Terra had shushed _himself_.

Riku was curious, but decided that would be a story for another time. "Thanks. T-this seems nice. I really appreciate you all looking out for me."

He'd long ago realized that more people than just Mickey and Sora were interested in his well-being—if everybody in their mutual circles gathering around him to help find Sora wasn't proof enough of that, then what was?—but it'd been a while since anybody else had looked after him in this way, caring about how he went about his own work in addition to offering to lift some of his burdens off of him.

"Well, I'm gonna go-"

"Wait one sec!" Ven gasped, then ran around the corner.

He returned quickly with a stuffed animal that looked a lot like Chirithy, the Dream Eater who now followed Ven around sometimes.

"I've been working on this for you, Riku. It's been really nice having Chirithy around, and... I thought you could use a friend like them, too!"

Ven didn't know about Meow Wow and Komory Bat, but Riku appreciated Ven reminding him of them all the more for it. "T-thank you, Ven."

Ven grinned, and Aqua laughed, putting her arm around Ven's shoulder and subtly nudging him back. "Alright, let's allow Riku to get that rest, shall we?"

Terra gave Riku a salute, which he returned, and then he shut the door, removed his jacket, and laid back in the bed.

Riku let himself melt into the mattress and pulled the Chirithy plush and the blankets close to him. He felt for the first time in a while how much his fingers hurt from controlling the data-Sora. He even felt the burn of the sigil on his back again. But more than the pain, he felt the refreshing, new comfort of the clean sheets and the unfamiliar, yet safe environment. He felt how much less pain he would be in after he let himself drift off and rest. He felt the feathers in the pillow surround his head and pull him into sleep.

Somewhere, somehow, Sora was sleeping. Well, Riku didn't know that for sure, but as much as he envied him for it the first two times, he at least _hoped_ that Sora was again left sleeping through it all. Riku knew well how scary it was to be trapped in an unfamiliar place all alone—and maybe that's why Aqua was so eager to help, too.

Back in the lab, Kairi was sleeping, though she certainly wasn't _resting_. Riku would have to chide her for that when she woke up. If she was going to take a page from both Sora and Riku, she could at least stand to take _better_ pages.

Maybe they would all wake up together now. Most likely, they would not.

But that was a dream Riku allowed himself to have as he slept, surrounded by warm, comfy blankets, and hugging the stuffed Chirithy.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really happy to have had the privilege to write a piece for Riku! 2020 was a hard year for all of us, so it felt good to write some comfort for a character who was having a pretty hard year of his own. Big thanks to the mods for doing a good job with the schedule and their hard work on the zine itself! This was one of those pieces I kinda went back and forth on, and thanks to them, I ended up in a pretty good place with it.


End file.
